Bucket O' Hank: Boba Fett and a Dancing Nanner

Monday, January 23, 2012

Boba Fett and a Dancing Nanner

GREAT football season, everyone. The best I can remember in a long time. The Huskies continued to improve their record, winning seven this year, and managed to score 56 points in a bowl game. Next year we'll work on putting a defense on the field as well. Watch for that. My expectations for the Broncos season were somewhere waaaaaay below winning the AFC West, beating Pittsburgh in a playoff game, and driving every football fan everywhere crazy. I'm ecstatic about that. WIN. I'm not crazy about the Superbowl match-up, I feel like we might have seen this one before, but when am I ever excited about the Superbowl match-up? I can't complain about two exciting championship games to close the season. And I won $3 betting on them. WIN.

Now we enter the great sports drought of the year: February. Get some work done, make your significant others feel special again, and take a breather. You are going to need all that energy for March Madness:

...and speaking of Boba, I'm embarrassed to say I watched the entirety of the follow video. It's strangely compelling. You can't help but wonder what medium will be used to portray the next 10 seconds of the movie.

10 MVP moments, in no particular order:

1) All of the dogs playing the roll of Chewbaca (throughout, but for example 1:04:11).
2) The team acting out scenes on the beach, especially the woman with a pie-tin stuffed in her tank top in the roll of C3PO (first seen at 17:40).
3) Anyone who included the liberal use of Star Trek uniforms into their costume designs (36:22).
4) Storm troopers played by infants (04:41).
5) Jabba the Hut played by pregnant ladies (52:51).
6) Greedo speaking Italian and French (49:29).
7) The interactions between Alderon and the Death Star (56:15).
8) People who hum along to the soundtrack (throughout, for example 33:25 or 1:04:40).
9) Cats! (18:23)
10) This guy (13:58)

and Some awards:

Best Luke: 1:09:55
Best Luke (animated): 20:38
Best Luke (muffin-related): 1:42:00
Best Han Solo: 1:01:38
Best C3PO: 22:06
Best R2D2: 20:22
Best Leia: 1:36:14
Best Obi-wan (tie): 32:40 and 1:01:27
Best Darth (tie) : 1:29:43 and 37:20
Best Chewy: 1:32:10
Best Imperial General / Best actor overall: 1:35:43

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Last 10 albums acquired, newest to oldest

Gillian Welch, "The Harrow & the Harvest". If you aren't down with Gillian and her husband David Rawlings, they're probably the best thing to happen to americana-roots-folkgrass in a generation. Every single one of their songs sounds like it's a remake of something her grandpappy taught her on the porch after getting off work at the whiskey still buried deep in the coal mine that he learned from his grandpappy at the gristmill mule master's daughter's funeral. Except she writes the songs herself, and she's from L.A. (cut to Pace Picante Sauce commercial). If you're already in the know, this new album is exactly a 0% departure from her previous ... all her albums. The corn cob ain't broke, I spose, so why'n you'd fix it. Hard sayin' not knowin' and all that. I guess this album doesn't have any fast numbers; "The Way It Goes" is about as rollickin' as they get. As Gillian sings: "Leave me, if I'm feeling too lonely ... full as the fruit on the vine. You know some girls are bright as the morning ... and some have a dark turn of mind." Hint: Gillian is the latter. So put on your Sunday best, juice up on morphine, and get sad. Gillian and Dave are a-ridin' through the tarnished and shadowy corners of your mood again. Yah!
Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, "Mirror Traffic". Former Pavement frontman Malkmus returns for his third album with the Jicks. It would be super useful for you if I compared this one to the other two, but I don't own them. I really like Pavement and the aftermath, but I'm not really an expert. I guess I only need a handful of albums to quench the occasional pavement cravings. And I needed another. I am more than satisfied with another installment of the formula: obtuse lyrics combined with jingle-jangle guitars and occasional distortion. 12 stars out of 5, or whatever.
Dum Dum Girls, "Only In Dreams". The overly reverberated, fuzz-pop reincarnation of the Pretenders, recorded in a studio haunted by the ghost of Neko Case. I'm in.
The Strokes, "Angles". Now here's a band that shouldn't be good anymore. Their time is over. They started down the path of solo albums already. It's time for them, the Hives, and Jack White to step aside and let the young guys take the naughties stripped-down rock and roll resurgence from here. Sure, the new guys are going to drive it into the ground, but that's just the way of the world. Yet, Angles still has a spark. There's a T-Rex style energy still there. It's not a retread. Songs like "Under Cover of Darkness" and "Two Kinds of Happiness" are certainly not departures from the previous three albums, but they still pop, and even incoporate a bit of the 80s revival we're currently experiencing. The album does fade a bit as you move onto the b-side, but the Strokes don't leave much to prove at that point.
Fruit Bats, "Tripper". I swear I bought this album before I saw the greatest music video of all time, "You're Too Weird". The Bats appear to have taken the lead in the hippie-rock-off currently sweeping the indie scene. They do it, I think, with liberal use of keyboards. I mean, try to imagine "Picture of a Bird" without the keys. It'd just be another catchy acoustic indie number. They mix in a pinch of psychodelia, but don't get all MGMT on us. The Fruit Bats make me feel like I'm slowly dancing around a beach fire high on pot in one of those new Levis commericals. Since I don't ever do that, and cRoss Dress for Less doesn't usually have Levis in my size, it's a nice thing to have playing in one's office. Mucha relaxabilidad. Me Gusta.
My Morning Jacket, "Circuital". I don't expect this review to be very useful to you, becasue I long ago lost any perspective on this band. I recognize that I have a My Morning Jacket problem, and they say that's the first step. That said, this is another wonderful album, from the first doo-doo-leet doo-doo-leet doo-doo-leeee-doos of "Victory Dance" to the epic conclusion of "You Wanna Freak Out". Am I hearing a little more Robert Plant in this one? Perhaps. The bottom line is that all great bands eventually fade, and I feel like it's around this point in the ride that I start bracing myself. It's not happening yet.
Hello Echo, "Hello". Echo, indeed. These guys are IN LOVE with the reverb knob. Gives it all that nice, full, I'm sitting in a ballet studio with the band kind of feel. With a couple more guitar layers, the band could reach Built-to-Spill levels. But with a clearly discernable California vibe. And with a voice that sounds like that guy from Soul Asylum. I like it.
Mountain Goats, "Tallahassee". It's weird, sometimes, to try to catch up on a band. Maybe you've heard them here and there, and meant to check them out, but never got around to it. Then one day you are magically ready (Hooks reminded me) and you look them up, ready to choose among 3 or 4 albums, maybe just pick and choose some hits. And then you see that they have, like, 12 albums. It's almost overwhelming. Sometimes I just give up, because I don't have 5 hours to properly evaluate them. Other times, you just have to take your best guess. This was mine.
Grouplove, "Grouplove EP". Don't overthink this one.
Bright Eyes, "The People's Key". Sometimes I get fed up with artists and all their messing around. They start solo projects, they start side projects, they form super groups. And a lot of it is great (see Monsters of Folk), but sometimes you want them to call up the ol' gang, sit down, and cut a regular album with their regular band. I realize now I've been missing Bright Eyes. Their last album, 2007's Cassadaga, sounds better and better every time I hear it. Have you sat down and listened to "I Must Belong Somewhere" lately? Such a genius lovesong to America. Anyway, where was I? Right, the new album. Way back when they came out with their double-whammy, "I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning" and "Digital Ash in a Digital Urn". Two different albums going in different directions. Cassadaga was clearly a follow up to Wide Awake. I feel like the People's Key is like retracing steps back to that fork, taking the other route, and continuing past Digital Ash. Yet, with some of the mystical spoken word intros like Cassadaga. "Distorted sounds of oscilloscopes / Distorted facts I could never cope / My private life is an inside joke / No one will explain it to me."

I read sometimes too

AJ Jacobs, "The Year of Living Biblically" (memoir). AJ and I had a similar idea to read up on the bible with a critical eye. AJ took it several steps further, and attempted to follow all the rules for one year. Great premise, flawed execution. He tried to tiptoe around humor, reverence, and personal journey, and succeeded at avoiding most of it. Perhaps the author and I just aren't very much alike so his reactions to the bible are often puzzling. He does do a great job getting across how hard it is to tell what God wants you to do. I can't decide whether or not I want to continue my "In the Beginning" series now. It's sort-of been done, and done with more committment by a real author.
Malcolm Gladwell, "What the Dog Saw" (nonfiction). I love this sort of crap. That same sort of "Freakonomics" idea in which we all think it's one way, but when you look carefully, it's completely different. This collection of New Yorker Magazine pieces showcases Malcolm's talent for drawing a common point out of disparate issues. For instance, how homelessness, smog check laws, and police brutality are all "power law" problems. One of the articles sounded familiar- turns out I remembered it from my non-fiction writing classes. So I guess that means it's good.
John McCoy and Ethan Hoffman, "Concrete Mama: Prison Profiles from Walla Walla" Two reporters from my home town newspaper had an idea back in the late 70s to report from inside the state pen. Of course, their editor denied them, because my home town newspaper sucks. They quit their jobs and did it anyway. The result is a fascinating look at prison life, even if you didn't grow up in the dub-dub. I learned the following: 1) While I was toddling around my backyard, just a few miles away inmates were riding motorcycles around in the yard 2) Inmates had an unbelievable amount of power in the late 70s, such as the ability to ride motorcycles around in the yard 3) Despite that, I am even more glad to not be in prison than I was before reading the book 4) The authors nicely summarize what is wrong with the American prison system back then. Since then, it has gotten much worse. 5) I would love to read a follow up written today.
Scott Peterson, "Let the Swords Encircle Me" (nonfiction) The mideast correspondent from the Christian Science Monitor writes of his experiences in modern Iran. Although the cultural shifts that have occured since the revolution are certainly interesting subjects, the author finds a way to present them in a tedious fashion. The idea that there are two sides to Iran is run into the ground with story after story. He jumps all over chronologically and spatially until no narrative remains. I certainly learned a lot, I guess, and by the half way point I could distiguish among the three central political figures Khomeini, Khameini, and Khatami (although some warning up front about that situation would have helped). Later chapters pick up the pace, as he covers the 2009 stolen election and aftermath. I wasn't aware just how blatantly the Iranian government lied and cheated to remain in power. The book was written before the Arab Spring, but I'm still left with the feeling that the switch from democracy to dictatorship won't be reversed any time soon.
Hampton Sides, "Blood and Thunder" (nonfiction) I can't give you the full title, because it includes the name of a famous explorer who shares my last name. Not allowed. Anyway, "Kit" explored the American West in the mid 1800s as a trapper, guide, and soldier. His fingerprints are all over from Oregon to Nevada (the state capital, for one) to California and most of all New Mexico. His many heroic deeds were popularized and fictionalized during his own lifetime, in adventure novels that he himself could never enjoy because he couldn't read. Oddly, those who encountered him wrote that the truth of him was even more impressive than the fiction. The man had skills. He had a way of becoming mixed up in major events of his time in impressive fashion, including saving California's bacon during the war with Mexico by walking across San Diego County barefoot in the dark. He was also instrumental in winning the New Mexico civil war battles for the Union. I didn't even know the civil war went that far west. Unfortunately for Kit, he is perhaps best known for breaking the back of the Navajo Nation with a scorched earth campaign. The author takes a positive view of his exploits in most cases, portraying Kit as simply a loyal follower of orders, no matter the cost. I think many would disagree. Although I'm not apparently related to Kit, I'll abstain.
Keith Richards, "Life" (nonfiction) My advice to potential readers of this book: be a dedicated Rolling Stones fan. Because if you are like me, and don't know anything about the Rolling Stones, this one is going to be over your head. Keith's ghost writer has captured the way he speaks in print, which is to say, often barely intelligible. Keith foreshadows or casually refers to a lot of major events, songs, and people. If you don't already know/don't remember those things, you are often left in the dark. That said, the first chapter is awesome. And every dozen pages or so after that, you find out something really cool and interesting about songwriting, sex, drugs, or how much Mick Jagger sucks. Is it worth sifting through the 500+ repetitive pages to get those little nuggets? I'll leave that up to you. The man certainly had an interesting life, I'll give him that.
Jonathan Tropper, "This Is Where I Leave You" (fiction) A gift from Die Hard with a Vengeance. It sounds like a bad movie plot: a viciously dysfunctional family reconvenes to sit shiva for their dead father for seven days. Tropper pulls it off, though, by perfectly capturing the male psyche. You wouldn't think it would be difficult to write realistic male characters, but after reading this book, I realize now that they are seldom captured in such brutal honesty. Most modern portrayals seems to go overboard one way (see I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell) or the other (see every romantic comedy movie lead ever). Tropper's men are mortally wounded, lashing out in their death throes, and they act like I, or any guy I know, would. It's not pretty, but it's true. I would totally see this movie.
David Sedaris, "Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk" (fiction) This is an odd, dark collection of short stories from one of America's favorite satirists. He projects some of the worst, or at least most annoying, human characteristics onto animals, such as the control lab rat who thinks she isn't disease-ridden because of her positive attitude. The purpose is perhaps to make us re-examine these common human situations as somewhat ridiculous in the context of the natural world. Or, he's just being silly, I don't know. I can't quite recommend the book, because it's never hilarious, is seldom illuminating, and is often off-putting. I did enjoy the final story, however, about a merciful and intelligent owl and his hippopotamus friend. That one was creative and amusing.
Rowan Jacobsen, "The Living Shore" (non-fiction) A heck of a book, if you are into Northwest oyster restoration. Not much of one if you're not. The information about man's relationship with shellfish is interesting, even if the narrative framework of the book (a weekend trip to Vancouver Island, basically) is thin. I disagree with a fact here or there, but the book takes, like, a half an hour to read so what have you got to lose?
Susan Casey, "The Wave" (non-fiction). Way back when, I read her book that was supposed to be about sharks but was more about her, and wasn't impressed. Well now she's back, telling the story of her being a groupie to big wave surfers. She does a better job talking about the subject this time. The best half of the book deals with the science and history of huge waves. The other half about big wave surfers is semi-interesting as well. Not a waste of time to read.

Glossary of Terms

4x4 magazine model = friend, husband of M.I.L.F.P.B.R., Seattle
80 ounces to freedom = She's work'n for the city. She's got a black belt in karate. She's gotta be strong to fight them. So she's tak'n lots of vitamins.
Aeroheart = my niece
Aftershock = Tour d'Diego III Champion, girlfriend of Remington Steele
American Spirits = My wife's childhood friends, Bainbridge Island and Charlottesville, VA
Any Breakfast Cereal, or its nickname = my wife
As a Kite = our former next door neighbor, native Arizonan
Björkstë = wife's childhood friend, wife of Speedo, Maui
Black Hole = the Mount Everest of OB bars
Bob Barker = former OBtian, brother of Ween, L.A. resident
Breakfast Cereals We Don't Like (BCWDL) = OBtian, Librarian, wife of Ween
Calves of Steel = SDSU graduate in one of the Ninja sister's lab, Champion of Tour d'Diego One
Captain Vicario = my Las Vegas alter-ego
Catt Me = OBtian, niner fan, married to the E-ticket
Chicken Schwarma = Davis ecologist, husband of the Sierra Club
Chompy = President of UF Alumni association, husband of The Gator
Chrysanthemum = former college housemate, Chicago
Cosmopol = British Ecologist from SDSU
Country Roads = OBtian, wife of Ippi, Mountaineer
Crystal = Hilo friend, guidance counselor, housemate of T.C. and Ken Masters
Da4ve, pronounced Da-for-vra = OBtian, may or may not be dead
Dexter = professional chef, girlfriend of Hooks, Seattle
Die Hard with a Vengeance = fellow Marine Ecologist at SDSU, now in D.C.
Dixie Mango Xotsalot (DMX) = former next-door neighbor, new master of the Unplex
Doc = childhood friend, now a navy doctor in San Diego
Downtown Tiger = discontinued blog nickname, see "The Prodigal Tiger"
Dr. Lady, D.D.S. = former college housemate, Hilo resident
E-ticket = Obtians, wife of Catt Me
Energizer Bunny = Dekey's friend/coworker from Seattle
Freaky and Dekey = wonder twins from Idaho
Grizzly = friend and former member of the Eastside Axemen, Seattle, now in Chicago
Guacansas = former home of Ippi and Country Roads, now known as The Avocado Jungle of Fun
Guadalupe = The Prodigal Tiger's friend from Baton Rouge
Gyrotastic = former Davis buddy, now of Brooklyn. Best friend of Sierra.
Hank = me, I, the author, husband of breakfast cereals
Hermione = former undergraduate member of the lab, now in grad school at CSU Long Beach
Holy Grail = My wife's childhood friend, Los Angeles
Hooks = lifelong friend, Seattle
HorseyCow = Comedian, Tuba player and boyfriend of LaKristinian Tomlinson, Houston
Hyundai = the Prodigal Tiger's former roommate, before she became the Downtown Tiger
I Am Sam = Husband of Rock Chalk, Bellingham
If I Could Turn Back Time = Male model for the U.S. Navy / Ensign
Ippi = Navy OBtian, husband of Country Roads
Irish Spring = Popular deodorant soap made by Colgate-Palmolive
Jackie Joyner-Kersee = wife of the Irish Spring, Colorado Springs
JonBoy = OBtian, husband of the Survivor
K-dizzle = Friend, Nematode Ecologist, Davis
Karate Kid II = OBtian, hoteler
Katrina = our wonder volvo, named for her "I was underwater once" electrical unreliability
Kelpy = former roommate, former officemate, fellow ecologist
Ken Masters = Hilo friend, marine engineer, housemate of T.C. and Crystal
Kerrina Sutra = O.B. friend, fiance of Mr. Soprano, current Vista resident
Knievel = the frog son
Kollette Klassen = former next door neighbor, former roommate of Makers Mark
Krakatoa = my parent's dog
LaKristinian Tomlinson = Mistress of Brunch, girlfriend of HorseyCow, former roommate of Schmandrew Schmeans, now Houston
Lil' Debbie = Delicious Snack Cake and O.B. friend, former roommate of 80 ounces to freedom
Lindstrum Shift = the periodicity of cascading aftershock events, each subsequent event of decreasing magnitude, occuring periodically after a particularly good party
M.C. Lil' Xotsie (MCLX) = former next-door neighbor, new mistress of the Unplex
M.I.L.F.F.P.B.R. = native Walla Wallan, wife of 4x4 magazine model
Mahatma Gandhi = Tacoma friend, husband of Mother Theresa
Maker's Mark = former next door neighbor, now gone far away
Man without Blanket = husband of the woman without a blanket
Medicine Bow = mountain view arteest, boyfriend of Dr. Lady, D.D.S.
Mel Gibson = Kelp / Urchin Ecologist, San Diego
Mercedes Benz = OBtian, baby mama of Reagan
Miss Moshizzle = OBtian, art teacher
Moisties = Former housemate of Calves of Steel, Gaucho
Mother Theresa = Tacoma friend, native Walla Wallan, wife of Mahatma Gandhi
Mr. Bitey = our late dog, a.k.a. Senor Pantalones
Mr. Soprano = former next door neighbor, fiance of Kerrina Sutra, of Vista
My CD friend = OBtian, fellow music enthusiast, girlfriend of the Wolverine
Mystique = the bug's movie-making partner, L.A.
Nalgas = Hooters restaurant. I just don't think the outfits on the waitresses feature the hooters. They really accent the ass cheeks, though. And since "Ass Cheeks" isn't a very good name for a restaurant, I nominate "Nalgas" the Spanish equivalent. Done and done.
No! and Out of the Kitchen! = The prodigal tiger's hounds
OK! = discontinued blog nickname, see "Rita Risky"
Our Benevolent Father = Fish Ecologist, P.B.
Ponch = Catt Me's best man
Reagan = OBtian, baby-daddy of Mercedes Benz
Remington Steele = Fish Ecologist, Fun Documentarian, boyfriend of Aftershock
Rita Risky = Seattle friend, former housemate
Rock Chalk = Wife of I Am Sam, Bellingham
Salem's = comedy, reggae, and skins bar, OB
Schmandrew Schmeans = O.B.C. comic from Texas, former roommate of LaKristinian Tomlinsen
Seamus O'Djembe = former late show resident, former roommate of the Spigot, drummer
She-ra = O.B. power vixen / social worker
Shotgunner = Seattle courvoisier, girlfriend of the Bard
Sierra Club = Plant Ecologist, Davis. Best friend of Gyrotastic. Married to Chicken Schwarma
Sketchie = OBtian, Navy Bomb Squad
Speedo = Björkstë's husband, Maui
Spiderman = the olsens' dog
Spigot = We can build on this!
Suffragette = Marine Ecologist, native San Diegan, now at Davis
Sugar Tits = Seattle friend, Idahoan, husband of Sugar Tits
Sugar Tits = wife of Sugar Tits
T.C. = Hilo friend, helicopter pilot, housemate of Ken Masters and Crystal
Tequila Divinity = Hilo friend, guidance counselor, waterfall owner
The Asian Mussel = Invertebrate Ecologist, boyfriend of the Dumpster, Davis
The B.O.B. = OBtian, O.B.C. comic
The Bandit = the Bug's Husband, collectively they are now "the Bandits"
The Banyan Brothers = Hilo friends numbers 2 and 3
The Bard = fellow troubador, online nemesis, Seattle
The Blondyan Sisters = a Hilo posse specially trained to replace the Banyan Brothers
The Bug = the frog daughter, "sister from another mister", L.A.
The Chicken Wing = SDSU Fish Ecologist, tailgater
The Dumpster = Sea Turtle Ecologist, captain of GATR II winning team, girlfriend of the Asian Mussel, now at Davis
The Fight'n Tiger = discontinued blog nickname, see "The Prodigal Tiger"
The Flystrip Company = A fat, meaty slice of P.B. right here in O.B.
The Frogs = godfamily
The Funplex = former home of me, the wife, Mr. Bitey and a rotating supporting cast
The Gator = former SDSU ecologist, wife of Chompy
The Jondo = residence of the Survivor and Jonboy
The Model = NOAA postdoc, Seattle
The Ninja Sisters = Actual sisters, Science types, San Diego Friends
The Noodler = my other niece
The Olsen Twins = Davis friends, a Shark Ecologist and a Crossbird Behaviorist
The Prodigal Tiger = Mammalogist, former next door neighbor, now in Boulder
The Schmreen Room = Former Home of LaKristinian, Schmandrew and Horsey
The Shogun = Manager of Salem's, OB
The Staciemonster = Kelp Ecologist, L.A.
The Survivor = OBtian, JonBoy's wife
The Unplex = former home of me, the wife, Mr. Bitey and a rotating supporting cast
The Wolverine = fellow marine ecologist, Humboldt State, boyfriend of MyCDFriend
Thoreau = Kollete Klausen's ex-boyfriend
Thousands of Locations Countrywide = My sister-in-law, San Juan Island
Tunnel of Love = Marine Ecologist, jersey girl, SDSU
Tyrone = best man, Walla Walla
Veronica Mars = former neighbor, ex-girlfriend of Bob Barker, L.A.
Viking Twins = the bug and mystique, collectively
Virginia = discontinued blog nickname, see "Sugar Tits"
Walrus = tailgater extraordinaire, now at Woods Hole
Wayne Coyne = my brother-in-law, San Juan Island
Ween = OBtian, brother of Bob Barker and husband of B.C.W.D.L.
White Chocolate = the Bug's ex-boyfriend, Walla Walla
Winger = discontinued blog nickname, see "Sugar tits"
Woman without a Blanket = Kelp Ecologist at SDSU
Wrench Face = Three-quarter kilohorsepowered split-hulled water craft of pleasure

Monday, January 23, 2012

Boba Fett and a Dancing Nanner

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Everybody's buying little baby clothes

Last 10 albums acquired, newest to oldest

I read sometimes too

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Glossary of Terms